gratitude and joy for 1/30/07

(I'm actually writing this on the 31st, but that's because I couldn't get on the computer last night)
Things I'm grateful for:
1. Having DH, who went into work late and left early to help out while ds and I were sick, for a husband.
2. Having Chasmyn, who is sending me "The Secret" video and another CD whose title escape me, for a friend.
3. Becka calling me to talk even though she doesn't like to use the phone.
4. DS's birth, which was a miracle in more ways than one.
Things from 1/30/07 that brought me joy:
1. Holding my son in my lap while we read a book together
2. Seeing the blue sky and sun shining
3. Feeding ds frozen blueberries
4. Eating yogurt with frozen blueberries

joy for today, 1/28/07

Things I did today that brought me joy: eating porrige, reading the Sunday paper, holding my son in my lap, drinking clean water, reading email from friends.

gratitude entry for today, 1/28/07

I am grateful for my patient, loving, handsome husband, and my sweet, gentle, handsome, healthy son. I am grateful for the sun today, and being able to comfort my son when he was ill. I am grateful for my brother Charlie, who is really smart, and my other brother Stan, even if I never hear from him. I am grateful for my friend Stacy, whom I meant to call today, and my friend Vashti. I'm grateful for the evergreen trees all around and my friend Becka who emailed me today.

 

I will try to keep up this blog

OK, so I just realized I don't keep up my blog. I should enter something new every other day, at least. I should have made it a new years' resolution.

I need to do this:
1. Make a list of the things I'm grateful for each day
2. Make a list of the things that brought me joy each day.

Maybe I could combine the two and blog about it?

Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters

Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters

What a cool blog. I wish I were as good a writer, and as good about updating my blog as this woman. I love her post with "Phenomenal Woman" by Maya Angelou. It's about how femininity is something other than the ability to reproduce, or any other stereotypical thing.

Infertility definitely makes you feel less than female, especially if you had always assumed you could reproduce on your own without medical intervention, and especially if you were brought up to believe that part of being female is to be a mother (which is generally the case). I often feel inferior to women who get pregnant without trying, or who try for awhile and then get pregnant. I know a woman who just had her third baby in three years, and while I don't really think that's for me, I still envy her fecundity. Sure, she's in her twenties, but I could never have done that, even at 20.

However, it's important to remember that not all women can or want to give birth to children. Many women choose to be child free, and many others are never able to get pregnant and carry to term a child. Does that make them less than female? I don't think so. Being a woman is so much more than that. In addition, in our ever more crowded world, the ability to reproduce in large numbers is not really considered by many to be an asset.

It also connects to the idea of same sex marriage -- if a heterosexual woman who is infertile, either by choice or circumstances, wants to marry a man, she can, but if she wants to marry a woman she can't. In either case, no biological child will issue forth from her loins no matter how often she consummates her marriage (unless, as an infertile, she uses advanced reproductive technology -- and unless she is young enough and rich enough to do so). Why should it matter than in one case the other person has a penis? With me, my pregnancy was induced the same way a lesbian woman's in my La Leche League meeting in Richmond, CA was -- at the Kaiser fertility clinic in Oakland, on a doctor's table. Sure, my husband's sperm was involved, but it could easily have been donor sperm, for all my husband was involved in getting it into me. And in my case, I have been with women in the past, so it's doubly odd for me that my choice of a man as a partner has such impact on our ability to raise a child together. It doesn't seem fair to me, but then again, neither is infertility, and nobody has a law about that (yet) that creates it. Other than, perhaps, the lack of laws protecting us from toxins and stress, which no doubt created infertility.

Back to being a woman. What is it? Having a vagina? Two X chromosomes? Lots of estrogen? I have lots of estrogen, but for a time I also had lots of testosterone (due to my PCOS), and I probably will again once C stops nursing (breastfeeding has really given my body a break from much of the PCOS). Am I less female? I'm still a woman, aren't I?

Anyway, you go girl!

Inanimate Alice -- what a trip!

WOW! Inanimate Alice


OK, so the people who put this set of stories are a but odd. Or what? Take a peek at the first one and tell me what it means, please? It definitely draws one in and makes one think. I don't want to put too many words into describing it, because I don't think I can do it justice. Just go there.

Another view of war and peace

December 10, 2006, 9:38 pm Sugar-Sweet Memories By Jeremie Lucia

This post in another blog talks about the poster's experiences in Afghanistan. I haven't been there myself, but it sounds like quite a different life from the States. I think it's a bit controversial. Have you read it?

C has grown so much

C has grown so much, I can hardly believe it. He's 3 3/4 now, and is 43 inches tall. He's about 37 pounds or so, although it's not the same twice. He eats a lot for such a little kid. He can eat a whole cantelope himself in a couple of hours, which is more than I could do. He has taken to eating for breakfast the following combination: a one-egg omelet with cheese on it, a turkey dog (eaten like sausage), and homemade frozen yogurt (we call it ice cream). He also ate a peanut butter and honey sandwich this morning. He seems to be able to handle rye sourdough bread -- too bad it's like $5.00 for a quarter of a loaf at the health food store! Regular bread makes him wet his pants, due to the gluten in it. But at least I can buy bread instead of having to make it from cashew butter like I was doing (he can't stand that because it requires the use of the food processor, which is too noisy for him).

Anyway, he is so strong, and so helpful around the house. He likes to put away laundry in the dresser drawers. Any excuse to run from room to room, really.

More later...

Looking for Longleaf

This sounds interesting: Looking for Longleaf: The Fall and Rise of an American Forest . This book is on my brother's wishlist. It's about how the longleaf pine forest is basically extinct. Yet another victim of progress. If I had a few extra hours, I might take a peek at it. Maybe I'll put it on hold at the library! Any light reading in your wishlist, bro? What about a nice copy of Randy Travis Platinum Collection or Dangerous Man by Trace Adkins?

Omaha Steaks: grain fed steaks

Omaha Steaks
So, Omaha Steaks is what we get every year from some relatives. They are very much grain fed, which makes them fattier and more tender, and much less healthy. What about Niman Ranch beef instead? Is it any more healthy? It sure is a LOT more expensive! No hormones, no antibiotics, and traditionally raised, so it is over $100 for just 5 flank steaks. Wow! And these cows are still not fully grass fed, so their fat is still low in the healthy omega 3 fatty acids that make grass fed beef healthier. If this is what there is, I'll just have beans, thank you!

Might as well say that we may or may not get some of these steaks in the mail for Christmas this year. We have gotten them every year for several years from some relatives of Bill's, but there is a bit of a problem going on between his mom and them, so I'm wondering what will happen. He never calls them because he's so uncomfortable with it all. Every family has its oddities, of course. It's just too bad that Chris is in the middle of it all (and Bill as well, really). Why can't people just get along?

It snowed!

Finally getting around to posting: it snowed here last week, and it even stayed on the ground here for a couple of days. And out farther, it was still on the ground yesterday! Isn't that cool? We got about two inches, but only about half an inch stuck to the ground. The car got all two inches on it. I should have taken photos, but we need a new camera battery. Anyway, we had some fun cleaning off the car and made some snowballs. Not really enough for a snowman/person. Bill went in to work anyway, and was one of the only ones there. Microsoft was closed! Those folks are spoiled in some ways, although they also work insane hours many times.

Hope you all are having a wonderful winter!

celiac disease -- whatever happened to the old cure for it?

This is in regard to the Wikipedia entry for Celiac disease, which states, "At this time no medication will prevent damage, nor prevent the body from attacking the gut when gluten is present. The disease is controlled by strict adherence to a gluten-free diet, which allows the intestines to heal and resolves all symptoms in the vast majority of cases..."
It contradicts itself later, however, by stating. "Even while on a diet, health-related quality of life (HRQOL) is decreased in people with coeliac disease. Some have persisting digestive symptoms or dermatitis herpetiformis, mouth ulcers, osteoporosis and fractures." (there is more, too, but you get the point. I'm amazed that mainstream medicine still stands by this, despites lots of doubts about what really causes celiac disease and what can be done about it.

There is an alternative diet to the gluten free diet, the Specific Carbohydrate Diet (TM), which restricts not only gluten containing grains such as wheat, rye, and barley, but also all grains (including rice and corn) and most complex carbohydrates including potatoes, most beans (including soy and pinto), and other starchy vegetables and all sweeteners except for honey and saccharine. This diet is based on the idea that the gut is damaged by an imbalance of intestinal flora, and that the unfriendly flora must be starved off by depriving them of food. The diet only allows carbohydrates that are monosaccharides such as those in fruits, sweet vegetables such as squash, non-starchy veggies such as broccoli and zucchini, and honey. All fermentable carbohydrates are removed from the diet to allow the gut to rest and heal. This diet was first developed to treat celiac disease, but fell out of favor because of its difficulty to maintain and further studies that pointed to gluten, a protein, rather than starch, as the culprit in celiac.

There is a small minority of people who believe that celiac disease, irritable bowel disease, ulcerative colitis and Crohn's disease, and even perhaps autism, are all caused by carbohydrate intolerance rather than gluten intolerance. This is because only monosaccarides can be digested completely by the human digestive system and absorbed properly. All other carbohydrates cause problems, particularly if there is intestinal damage such as that caused by coeliac disease. The complex carbohydrates, disaccharides and polysaccharides, are not properly digested in the stomach, and go on to feed unfriendly intestinal flora such as Candida albicans, which in turn cause more intestinal damage. Thus, this vicious cycle causes increasing damage to the intestines and an out of control imbalance of intestinal microflora.

It turns out humans never really were meant to be eating starches, especially in the huge quantities most modern diets -- not just the US diet, but most around the world (other than traditional Arctic people and a few other isolated groups). It was less than 10,000 years ago that humans started to live settled enough and farm enough that they could grow large quantities of crops, including grains. Before that, most humans ate meat, fruit, vegetables, some tubers and a few grains gathered a few weeks a year, doled out very frugally throughout the year. And only a thousand or so more years before that were we regularly cooking our foods, so we really couldn't eat grains or tubers. Many people's bodies have adapted to this new diet, but many have not, and celiac disease is just one sign that it's an ill-suited diet.

The Specific Carbohydrate Diet(TM) solves this problem. It does not restrict protein foods such as meats, and allows some beans, such as lentils and navy beans once healing is well under way. It includes dairy, although in cases where dairy is not tolerated it can be excluded as well. This diet was developed in the early 20th Century, and was commonly used as recently as the 1950s to treat Celiac disease. (Haas SV and Haas MP: Management of celiac disease, p x. J B Lippincott Company, Philadelphia, 1951)

What did we do today? What should we have done?

Often, right before he goes to sleep, ds will ask me, "what did we do today?" He likes to hear about what we did, maybe because he finds it comforting, maybe because he forgets. Anyway, today, it felt like "what did I do today?" or "what should we have done today" because we had kind of a lousy day. It's raining, ds had a tantrum, we didn't really do much fun stuff. I feel like a bad mommy for not doing more fun stuff with ds. I feel like he's using his DVD player for a replacement mommy.
Today started out like many days. I made breakfast, almond flour porrige (which ds asked for and used to eat). He refused to eat it, and only ate an apple. He is a very picky eater, by the way. Anyway, we went to my doctor's office for my cranial sacral therapy appointment (he had some goat milk yogurt in the waiting room), then we stopped at a supplements store for cod liver oil. DS got a raw vegan energy bar, which he devoured. When we got home, he had a tantrum. Was it the energy bar on basically an empty stomach? Going to the doctor's office (where he watched his DVD player while I got my treatment)? Was it something else? Well, he ended up falling asleep, which is not something he usually does anymore. He had been running around at the doctor's office in the waiting room, and one of the receptionists said "I wish I had his energy." Little did they know it was being hyper. And that he would collapse a short while later.
Why won't he eat better? Why does he ask for food that he then doesn't eat? Why does he eat so many sweets? Well, it's the candida, duh! But why can't we kick it? Why does a kid have to go through this? Why can't he be healthy? I am so tired of these worries. I don't know what to do.

Probiotics are cool

What don't probiotics do? It would seem nothing! They help with many things, including digestion of oxalates (in many things such as most veggies and nuts), which helps with mineral absorbtion. They help digest carbohydrates. They fight yeast infections. They help absorbtion of other nutrients. They are just so cool. How do you get them? Naturally fermented foods are the best sources, like yogurt, kefir, sauerkraut (homemade without vinegar), and other similar foods. There are plenty of pills and powders, too, but they are usually less effective. Some people are very allergic to dairy, and have to take extra precaustions in finding fermented foods or probiotic supplements they can handle. I am fairly reactive to cow's milk dairy, although goat's milk yogurt doesn't seem to be a problem for me, fortunately. I didn't like goat's milk yogurt until I got fresh goat's milk. I prefer it raw, if possible, but it is very expensive. It's almost $9.00 for half a gallon. I would love to have my own goats to milk so I could save a bit, but then that would be a lot of work. Not to mention the land for them would be pricey, at least around here. See why I call this my ramblings :=?
Here are some links:
http://www.natren.com/pages/natashart2.asp
http://www.natren.com/pages/baby.html
http://www.wildfermentation.com
http://www.healingcrow.com/ferfun/ferfun.html
http://www.natren.com/pages/natashart3.asp
http://users.sa.chariot.net.au/~dna/kefir-faq.html#alternatekefir
http://www.merc-buyers.com/FS-microorganisms.htm
http://www.victusinc.com/Enterales/Reuteri/Probiotics.htm


More later! I am needed to get ds ready for bed.

Jokes about congress I've gotten in my inbox

I got an email the other day with these jokes about congress, apparently related to the Tom Foley fiasco:

Q:Why don't members of congress need bookmarks?

A: They bend over the pages

Q. What is the difference between Congress and the Library of Congress?
A. At the Library of Congress, you aren't allowed to lick the pages.

This was from a church email list, by the way. But it was a Unitarian church group, and in Washington state. tee hee.

The rains are here! Is this 50 days and 50 nights or what?

So, it's the second week of November, and it's been raining nearly constantly for over a week, I think, and is supposed to rain every day for the next two weeks or so at least. See: http://weather.yahoo.com/forecast/USWA0395.html Oh, and it's supposed to get colder, too! There are flooded basements, flooded rivers, and even some cancelled schools. Sure, this is the Seattle area, known for its rainy weather, but this is ridiculous! I lived in Northern California, which does get a winter rainy season although it's shorter and drier, but it did not prepare me for this thing of days and days going by without any dry days. And for such a rainy place, it really doesn't have a lot of things to do with kids that are indoors. Sure, towns have recreation centers with some periods of indoor play, but they are for toddlers mostly. Oh, wait, that's right, most kids over two are in daycare or school now, so their parents don't have to take them to the park. No wonder! Yet another problem with being a homeschooler (sort of) in a world where school is starting younger and younger.
I don't like the extremely dry air in places like Tucson, AZ http://weather.yahoo.com/forecast/USAZ0247.html but envy them their sun and warmth. I would like the warm and the sun without the incredibly dry air or the unbearably hot summers. Is ther such a place? I'd like the humidity to be about 50% all year, with a variation of temperature from about 55 degrees in the winter to about 85 degrees in the summer, with a long warm spring and fall. Sigh. Rain isn't all bad, it's just when that's all there is that it gets to be a downer. It would be nice to have some sun every once in awhile. Even just an hour a day, sheesh!

World On Fire

$5,000 could cover the cost of hair and make-up for one day on set in LA or pay for one year’s schooling for 145 girls in Afghanistan. Sarah McLachlan does the math and encourages you to join her.

Walk Slowly, Live Wildly

Walk Slowly, Live Wildly
What an interesting blog. Sara and her family have moved into a tiny one bedroom apartment from a big house, and downsized majorly. I couldn't do what she did, especially since she's still got parents to hold onto some of her stuff (the benefits of having kids young -- living grandparents!). But the way she makes her little place look -- wow! That I want. I want to create a livable, beautiful home with functional but nice looking furniture. I want to be able to create a home that I would post pictures of on the web, and invite people over! I want a nice place, and her blog makes it abundantly clear it doesn't have to be huge to be nice and homey.

Supplements

Thought I would list the supplements I'm taking:
sodium ascorbate, about 6 grams a day
5 HTP (am going to stop on that for a bit to see if ds's mood gets better -- he's been bossy and angry a lot, and I'm thinking it might be what he's getting in my breastmilk, even though he hardly nurses)
L-Tyrosine
St. John's Wort
bioflavanoids
sodium ascorbate
Vital 10 diary free Probiotics from Klaire Labs
homeopathic candida
selenium (need to get more of this)
energy electrolytes (minerals)
Dolomite (need to get more of this)
Calcium by Garden of Life
Thropps enzymes -- two diferent kinds, one is Ultra-Zyme Pro and the other is a combination with grape seed extract
Candida Yeast Management enzymes by Nutraceutical Sciences Institute
Homeopathic single remedies: sepia 200K and ignatia amara 200K

Five Love Languages

Five Love Languages

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Quality Time
with a secondary love language being
Acts of Service.

Complete set of results

Quality Time:		9
Acts of Service:		8
Physical Touch:		7
Words of Affirmation:		5
Receiving Gifts:		1

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz