Monday, November 20, 2006

What did we do today? What should we have done?

Often, right before he goes to sleep, ds will ask me, "what did we do today?" He likes to hear about what we did, maybe because he finds it comforting, maybe because he forgets. Anyway, today, it felt like "what did I do today?" or "what should we have done today" because we had kind of a lousy day. It's raining, ds had a tantrum, we didn't really do much fun stuff. I feel like a bad mommy for not doing more fun stuff with ds. I feel like he's using his DVD player for a replacement mommy.
Today started out like many days. I made breakfast, almond flour porrige (which ds asked for and used to eat). He refused to eat it, and only ate an apple. He is a very picky eater, by the way. Anyway, we went to my doctor's office for my cranial sacral therapy appointment (he had some goat milk yogurt in the waiting room), then we stopped at a supplements store for cod liver oil. DS got a raw vegan energy bar, which he devoured. When we got home, he had a tantrum. Was it the energy bar on basically an empty stomach? Going to the doctor's office (where he watched his DVD player while I got my treatment)? Was it something else? Well, he ended up falling asleep, which is not something he usually does anymore. He had been running around at the doctor's office in the waiting room, and one of the receptionists said "I wish I had his energy." Little did they know it was being hyper. And that he would collapse a short while later.
Why won't he eat better? Why does he ask for food that he then doesn't eat? Why does he eat so many sweets? Well, it's the candida, duh! But why can't we kick it? Why does a kid have to go through this? Why can't he be healthy? I am so tired of these worries. I don't know what to do.