Thursday, June 28, 2007

Decisions, decisions

Up until now, I have always been really bad at making decisions. I get a quick blast of a thought about what I want, and then later on I get other ideas that contradict that. Fears? I don't know...not wanting to be wrong? I guess fear of making a mistake can be paralyzing. Wanting to do more than one thing at once? Is that a fear? Not wanting to work at something -- is that also a fear? Maybe of putting a lot into something and failing? Fear of failure is a big one for me that I have to get over. Also though, I am convinced that living in three or four places at once will be possible some day, I just have to figure out the trick to bending time and space enough to be able to do it. Ha ha!

I do love living here in a lot of ways -- partly because I am here. Partly because the trees are all so green all year. The air smells so clean. There are so many parks. The library is great. People are very friendly and helpful. Puget Sound is so smooth. Riding a ferry on it is so different from any other ferry I've been on, because the ride is smoother than being on a car. Lake Washington turns a certain shade of blue on a sunny day. It's so very deep. Almost primeval. There are so many farms. And farmer's markets. There are a ton of natural foods stores. And supplements store. Traffic is not as bad as it was in California. My wonderful Aunt Janet lives a few hours' drive away, and she is a grower of fruit. My Uncle Walt lives in Seattle (though we don't see him much). My friend Becka and her wonderful daughter who is C's best friend. My friend Faye whose sons are fun and who always has great food to eat. The playgroups. The Seattle Center. Our apartment complex, which has suddenly become full of families with kids of all ages. Even our Ferberizing neighbors seem to be getting better after I tacked a La Leche League magazine to their door. The malls with the play areas. The homeschooling groups. The museum of Flight. The Children's museums. The beaches in Seattle that we've been to, particularly Discovery Park. The South 47 Farm. Minea Farm. The Berke Museum. The Sammammish River.

What I miss about California: San Francisco. San Rafael. My friends. Alameda. BART. The La Leche League Leaders who made me feel so welcome there (the ones here never did). The warm September/October Indian summers. The beaches. The dunes. The grazing cows at Pt Reyes National Seashore. The campus at UC Berkeley. The Castro District. The Mission. Berkeley. Orinda. Redwood Regional Park. The art museums. The J Church. The N Judah. Coffee shops everywhere. The Palace of the Legion of Honor museum. Golden Gate Park.

What I miss about Tennessee: my friend Stacy and her wonderful family. My brother Charlie. Being relatively near my other brother Stan. The warm spring weather. The Appalachian mountains. The local festivals. The creeks. The memories I have (although many involve leaving to go on trips, to places like The Blue Ridge Parkway, The Outer Banks, Washington, DC). The slower pace of life.